


Open your mouth; Take and take and never give

by orphan_account



Category: Kamen Rider OOO
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:57:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Akira!" Date heard in his head every time he tried to say it. "Akira!" He didn't know whose voice it was, but it rang in his head, clear and happy and painful. He'd catch a glimpse of a smile, resurfacing from deep within his memories, but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out who it was or why the person that he remembered stopped him from telling Gotou his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open your mouth; Take and take and never give

Maybe it was his fault, Gotou thought. Maybe he shouldn't have been stupid enough to fall for someone like Date Akira. Maybe he should have done what his mind had told him to, and stayed away from Date instead of following his emotions and getting caught up in all of this. Maybe then, he wouldn't be in this situation.

  
The first time that he had said it, he hadn't gotten anything in return. At that time, he'd thought it was because Date was ready yet, and so had let it slide, even if it had hurt.

 

_He clung onto the other man, arms wrapped around him tightly. He was afraid, so afraid of losing him, that he never wanted to let go, wanted to be with this man for the rest of his life. "Date-san," He murmured against the chest of the taller man, "Date-san, I love you."_

_He felt the other stiffen, and then relax as arms moved up to wrap around him. "I know."_

_It had hurt, not getting an answer in return, but Gotou said nothing, continued to rest his head on the other's chest, his hands clenching into a fist and relaxing._

 

But it had never gotten better. Gotou thought, if he gave it enough time, maybe Date would finally say it back, and confirm that he did love him. It didn't help that he himself was a very insecure person, and he needed everything to be laid out in front of him before he could believe in it, but Date didn't say it at all.

 

What if he was just putting up with him? What if he really didn't reciprocate those feelings at all?

 

They were in Date's newly bought apartment, sitting at the  _kotatsu_  and doing their own thing. Date was flipping through a magazine of some kind, while Gotou was writing a report for his job. It was tiring, all the paperwork that he had to go through, but since Birth didn't need a user any longer now that all the Greeed had been defeated, this was the closest that he could get to saving the world. 

 

He looked up from writing his report after signing his name in on his tablet, then shut his laptop down, closing it. Date was still flipping through his magazine, frowning slightly, before he suddenly smiled. Gotou, wondering what Date was smiling about, made his way around the  _kotatsu_  and sat down next to Date, peaking at what he was reading. 

 

"Something wrong, Gotou-chan?" Date asked, directing his attention from the magazine to him.

 

Gotou shook his head, leaning to the side and resting his head on Date's shoulder. He glanced at the magazine from his vantage point, comfortable and content to rest like this with his partner.  _Sakura Yuumi_ , the  _kanji_  of the magazine wrote, and Gotou's eyes widened slightly. "Isn't she the one a few months ago...?"

 

Nodding, Date continued to read the article. "Yeah. It seems she's gone back to Africa to continue her relief work. Man, I really wish I could be there, too."

 

That remark hit somewhere close to home, for Gotou. That Date wanted to go back to Africa. Of course, it was what the doctor was passionate about, bringing aid and relief into a place that did not, in fact, have medical support. It still made Gotou feel uncomfortable, the thought of Date leaving at all. It was selfish, but he wanted to have the older man with him, by his side. He didn't want to give him up, even if doing so would benefit so many other people.

 

He had always been selfish.

 

Gotou lifted his head off of Date's shoulder and plucked the magazine out of the doctor's hands. He received a confused blink, and placed the magazine on the table, swinging one leg over Date's outstretched ones. Settling himself comfortably in Date's lap, one knee on either side of Date's thighs, Gotou leaned forward and pressed his forehead to his partner's shoulder. "Akira-san..."

 

He felt the shiver that ran through the other's body, felt the arms that wrapped around him to pull his head away from its vantage point. Date's eyes were hungry, scanning his face in haste, as though trying to find any sign of resistance. When he found none, Gotou presumed, Date pushed him onto the table, knocking the magazine out of the way, pressing their hips together again. 

 

"Shintarou," Date murmured against Gotou's neck, "You're eager today." His mouth finds Gotou's neck, nuzzling his nose against it before he kisses it softly. Gotou reacts as he always has, lips opening to pant his breath and arching up. His body is so very, very sensitive and even the slightest touch can push him off the edge. He laid beneath Date, his expression vulnerable and trusting. 

 

Date paused, looking down at Gotou. Every single time he sees this image of Gotou, he feels wave upon wave of affection crash onto him at the fact that Gotou trusted him enough to show this side of him. The words that he knew Gotou wanted to hear, at the tip of his tongue, but for some reason he could never get it out. Settling for leaning down and kissing him, Date tried to make Gotou understand that even if he didn't say it, he  _did_  love him. 

 

Date knew. He knew how Gotou wanted to hear it, the words ' _I love you_ ' from him, and how each time he couldn't say it, he hurt the younger. But every time he tried to say it, it would always get lodged in his throat, and he couldn't get the words out. 

 

  
_"Akira!"_  Date heard in his head every time he tried to say it.  _"Akira!"_  He didn't know whose voice it was, but it rang in his head, clear and happy and painful. He'd catch a glimpse of a smile, resurfacing from deep within his memories, but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out who it was or why the person that he remembered stopped him from telling Gotou his feelings.

 

"Akira-san," Gotou whispered, and Date snapped back to reality, his eyes immediately finding the worried ones that belonged to his partner. Gotou lifted a hand, his need temporarily forgotten, to Date's cheek, caressing it gently. "If you don't want to-"

 

Date shook his head, smiling down gently. He put his hand over the one on his cheek, and Gotou's face broke out into a smile, happy and affectionate, and Date wanted to say it so badly, to just  _open his mouth_  and tell Gotou what he wanted to hear. Gotou deserved to hear it, Date knew, but he couldn't get it out.

 

Why...?

 

His hands moved to remove the vest that Gotou wore. It had surprised him a little, to see that Gotou wasn't wearing his usual clothing when he returned from the surgery, but he very much liked his new, slightly wilder outfit. Pulling the black shirt over Gotou's head, Date grinned, leaning down. He heard Gotou's sharp intake of breath as the smaller stiffened, knowing what was to come. 

 

There were a lot of things about Gotou that Date loved, and the way his body was sensitive was one of them. Date had once tried - and succeeded - to get Gotou to come just from touching his body alone. It had taken a long time, yes, but the satisfaction that he received from making Gotou lose control without touching him anywhere else had been more than enough. 

 

He lowered his mouth to Gotou's chest, blowing a steady stream of air as he went. A shudder rippled through Gotou's body as he tugged at Date's shirt, desperately trying to rid his partner of as many articles of clothing as possible before he lost control completely. Date laughed, co-operating and letting his shirt be pulled off of him, hands sliding warmly down Gotou's sides after he had thrown it off to the side.

 

Gotou arched up with a gasp, his eyes wide and focused on Date's face. Keeping eye contact with his partner, Date closed his mouth around a nipple, his tongue laving over it and sucking gently. His left hand came up to play with it's corresponding partner, his right holding Gotou down as the smaller man writhed. 

 

A flush was making its way onto Gotou's body, his pale body always showing how much he enjoyed these sessions. It always made Gotou embarrassed that his body reacted in such an obvious way, but Date found it endearing. 

 

"Shintarou," Date mumbled, pulling up from Gotou's chest. He smiled and brushed a lock of hair from Gotou's face. "Give me a second." He gave Gotou a kiss before lifting himself off, moving to the room to grab a bottle of lube and condoms, and upon second thought went to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth as well. It was a lot easier to clean up after they were done, and since the both of them like to cuddle post-coital, it was a faster way than having to wash off. 

 

In the short amount of time it had taken him to grab those items, Gotou had removed the rest of his clothing, and was lying on the table, his legs spread and bent at the knees, head thrown back with a hand wrapped around himself, stroking. Date's pupils dilated as he watched his lover, the small moan of  _Akira_  making its way through those lips. Placing the items on the floor next to the  _kotatsu_ , Date unbuckled his belt, shedding himself of his clothing before wrapping his hand around Gotou's. 

 

Eyes shot open as a cry echoed in the room, Gotou biting down on his bottom lip to try to muffle the noise, failing as Date guided his hand, twisting sharply, another cry sounding. Date said nothing, his eyes locked onto the expression of his partner as he ignored his own arousal. Gotou's hand was losing its grip, trying to close his legs to prevent the onslaught of pleasure from taking him. Noticing this, Date moved between his legs, preventing them from closing as his hand continuing to stroke.

 

Gotou was a mess, his hair splayed out, one hand gripping the edge of the table and the covering his mouth. How Date could reduce him from a logical, mostly calm man to a pile of nerves and need Gotou would never know. Date took in the image, the sight, the sound, the feel of Gotou, of his Shintarou, and he twisted his hand even faster, even sharper than before, determined to make Gotou fall apart in his hands.

 

"S-Stop," Gotou gasped out, eyes opening slightly and moving to stop Date. "I want to-"

 

Chuckling, Date moved to suck at Gotou's neck, his free hand cradling his head as the smaller man gave a strangled moan, all resistance gone. Date lifted his head to whisper into Gotou's ear, "Not today, Shintarou," and returned his mouth to Gotou's neck, nuzzling and licking randomly, concentrating on the spots he knew would make Gotou writhe even more.

 

He heard the telltale whimper, the small sound that Gotou always made whenever he was about to come, and smirked. "Do it," He said against Gotou's neck, feeling the shiver that ran through his body. "Do it, Shintarou."

 

A hand clutched at his bicep, and Gotou's body shuddered as he came, whimpering through it. Date chuckled, grabbing the washcloth and cleaning his partner, the rough texture against his sensitive skin drawing out a few more whimpers as he did so. He grabbed the condom and tore it open, realizing that he had been too engrossed in making his partner lose control to remember to put it on. Gotou's hands grabbed at it, propping up on one elbow to raise himself up, taking the condom from him and kissing Date softly. 

 

He pulled away and gave his lover a small, mischievous smile. Rolling the condom down, Date bit down on the inside of his lip as Gotou playfully ran his fingers up and down the shaft. "Ah," Gotou said, "There's a little something..." He leaned down, closing his mouth at the base, sucking gently. Date groaned, his hand threading into Gotou's hair, hips thrusting up. "There we go," Gotou laughed, pulling away. The twinkle in his eyes told Date that there had been nothing there.

 

Date looked at his lover, his hair in a mess, cheeks flushed and adorable smile on his face, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss. He kissed his lover passionately, holding him tightly and expressing what he felt. He didn't know if Gotou could understand it, but he hoped, hoped against hope itself that he did, because Date wasn't a sentimental man, and he hated himself for that.

 

Grabbing the bottle of lubricant, Date smeared his fingers in it generously; hurting Gotou in any way was the last thing he wanted. Gently pushing Gotou back down onto the table, he nudged Gotou's knees apart, and the smaller opened his legs, exposing himself. Pushing a finger into Gotou, he wrapped the other hand around Gotou again, pumping. With a gasp, the smaller man arched his back up, the warm palm around his sensitive shaft sending pricks of warmth down his spine. "A-Akira..."

 

A smile, and Date tore the other condom open with his teeth, helping his lover to roll it down. "Shintarou," He replied, working another finger into him, running his lips down the other's lithe body. At a third, Gotou eyes locked onto Date's, his mouth opening and managing a small ' _inside_ '. 

 

With a growl, Date applied a liberal coat of lubricant to his own cock, hand fast and efficient, before he moved to wrap an arm around Gotou's body, the other guiding himself in. He hissed at the sensation of his lover around him; Gotou was always so tight, so hot on the inside. He could feel Gotou's fingernails digging into his back as the younger male clung onto him, panting harshly. 

 

"Are you okay?" Date asked, brushing hair away from Gotou's eyes. Gotou nodded, and adjusted himself a little, before he kissed Date's palm gently, giving him permission to move.

 

Date complied, pulling out and thrusting back in. Gotou stiffened, then relaxed, falling back as his body was taken, head thrown back. Date thread their fingers together even as he groaned at the feeling of being intertwined with the man he loved, wanted, needed. 

 

"A-Aki-" Gotou panted, after some time, "Akir- _ahhnn_."

 

"Mm?"

 

Gotou steeled himself, wishing that this time he said it, Date would say it back. That he wouldn't have to be upset any longer because he wasn't sure whether or not Date really loved him. He tightened his hold on Date's hand, exposing all of himself, heart, mind, soul to the other man, and whispered, "I love you."

 

Immediately, Date stiffened. He screamed at himself internally, ' _Tell him! Tell him you love him, tell him that you love him, Date Akira, stop being a coward and_  tell him!' But even as he opened his mouth to say it back, to put a smile on his lover's face, that voice laughed in his head again, and the smile flashed before him once more. "I-" Date started, preparing himself to say it, but what came out of his mouth was not what he wanted. "-know."

 

It tore at him, the hurt that crossed Gotou's face, tore at his heart, as he saw the tears that welled up in the other's eyes, too many to hold back after countless times of rejection. 

 

  
_No,_  Date thought,  _This isn't what I wanted. This was never what I wanted. I don't want to hurt him, why can't I  just say it?!_  


He heard a cry, and looked back down to see Gotou covering his eyes with his arm, but his lips were trembling, and Date wanted nothing more to hold Gotou in his arms and soothe his pain away, if only he wasn't the cause of it. Another cry, this time of pleasure, and Gotou came again, bringing Date with him this time.

 

It wasn't what he had expected. He hadn't expected to hurt Gotou again, hadn't expected for this to end in tears. He'd wanted to make Gotou feel good, to let him understand that he loved him, but in the end, he'd managed to make Gotou cry. 

 

This wasn't what he had meant, by wanting to make Gotou fall apart.

 

When he had come down from the peak of his orgasm, Gotou extracted himself from Date's arms. Removing the condom and tying it up, he stumbled into the bathroom with his clothes in hand before Date could get a grip on himself. When he opened the door, Date was standing there, having quickly thrown on his pants and shirt. "Shintarou-" Date started, but Gotou pushed past him with a curt ' _excuse me_ ' and hurried towards the door.

 

"Shintarou!" Date called, grabbing onto Gotou's hand before he could make it out of the apartment. "Don't."

 

Gotou paused, then said, monotone. "Tell me you love me, Akira."

 

Date opened his mouth, begging himself to say it, but nothing came out. Gotou gave a humourless laugh, then jerked his arm out of the other's hold. "Have a good day, Date-san."

 

To be reduced from  _Akira_  to  _Date-san_  in a span of a few seconds both shocked and hurt Date. He watched, helplessly, as Gotou opened the door and walked out, his silhouette disappearing as the door closed itself.

 

He didn't know if he should follow Gotou. On one hand he wanted to run after Gotou, but on the other he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to tell Gotou what he wanted to hear again, and that would just cause the other even more pain. In the end, unable to make a sound decision, Date stayed in his apartment, throwing himself onto his bed and punching his pillow in an effort not to cry.

 

The next day, the moment he woke up - when had he fallen asleep? - the first thing he did was check his phone. There were no messages, no missed calls, and somehow that was even worse than if Gotou had messaged to want to talk, because Gotou ignoring him meant that the other was still upset.

 

He had every right to be.

 

His day was unproductive. He did nothing, except to down a cup of coffee so that there would be something in his stomach. The caffeine did nothing to help improve his mood, if anything, it made it even worse. Staggering to the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of vodka and opened it, taking a large swig as his phone rang.

 

"Date," He grumbled into the phone, not bothering to look at the name.

 

"Date-san," The voice of a female said, and it took him a few moments to register the voice as Satonaka. "What have you done to Gotou-san?"

 

Date laughed, taking another swig of vodka. "What's wrong? Did he go crying to you?"

 

Satonaka did not appreciate his remark, and her reply sent a shiver down his spine. "He's terrible. I found him in his apartment last night, sobbing with bottles of alcohol surrounding him. He was evidently drunk, but I put him into bed. He's been crying your name ever since. Date-san, what did you do?"

 

And Date Akira told her everything. He had not expected to be telling all of this to Satonaka, of all people, but she seemed to care for Gotou, despite all of her cool exterior, and Date found comfort in telling someone his problems. 

 

"Date-san," Satonaka said, sounding exasperated. "You're an idiot."

 

Among all the answers he had expected, that hadn't been one of them. "What."

 

"You can't bring yourself to say it to Gotou-san," Satonaka snapped at him, "Because of someone that you can't even remember. So you're going to let yourself lose someone you care about just because you can't get over someone who's in your head. Someone you don't even know. If Gotou-san means that little to you, then as his superior, I'm not letting you anywhere near him."

 

"I-"

 

"Do you want Gotou-san, or do you want that apparition in your head?"

 

Date stayed silent, until Satonaka's voice sounded again, "Answer me!"

 

"I want Shintarou," Date whispered.

 

"Then get over here."

 

And Date did. He took a quick shower before he went, grabbing his phone and wallet. On the way out, he noticed Gotou's vest on the ground, and picked it up. It still carried his lover's scent, and he slung it over his shoulder. 

 

He knocked on the door, twice, and waited until Satonaka opened the door. She gestured towards the room, and then gave a small bow before leaving. 

 

Date walked towards the room that he knew belonged to Gotou. Opening the door, he heard Gotou turn his body say, "Satonaka, for the last time, I don't need any-" His face, from exasperation, suddenly turned into hurt, and he quickly turned his body back to face away from the door. 

 

He wouldn't have that.

 

"Shintarou," Date said, sitting on the bed and pulling Gotou to turn to look at him. The smaller man resisted, but the familiar warmth of Date's hand on his arm was too much, and he slowly turned to face him. Date, faced with his lover's pain, didn't know what to say. He took the vest and handed it to him, saying lamely, "I brought you your vest."

 

Gotou took it, eyes lowering as he nodded. "Thank you, Date-san. You can leave now."

 

Giving him a quick glare, Date retorted, "That's not what I came here to talk about." He pulled Gotou to sit upright, taking him by the shoulders and shaking him. "Shintarou, listen to me!"

 

"I'm always listening to you," Gotou murmured. "Always."

 

Date took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Gotou, to reassure himself that Gotou was  _here_ , with him. He heard a small sigh from Gotou, and then felt a wetness at his shoulder. "I love you, Date-san." Gotou whispered, clutching onto him. "I love you."

 

The tears egged him on, and Date opened his mouth. This time he would say it. The smile flashed in his mind again, and the voice,  _Akira!_ , and Date's voice faltered. But he pushed it aside, the wet spot on his shoulder pushing him on. Another face surfaced in his mind, one that was familiar, soft, and made his heart go into overdrive. The voice that echoed, this time, was familiar, too.  _Akira-san!_  


Gotou Shintarou.

 

He pulled away, and cupped Gotou's face in his hands. He could say it, this time. Concentrating on the image and the voice he had in his mind, he smiled. "I love you, Shintarou."

 

And Date decided that the smile that blossomed on Gotou's face, happy and sincere and slightly tearful, was more than worth having to throw the other face out of his mind to say it. 


End file.
